Progression
by Ordinary Insanity
Summary: "Is it progression if a cannibal uses a fork?" Post-original plot. Beyond x OC.
1. Coincidence

**Title: **Progression  
**Summary: **"Is it progression if a cannibal uses a fork?" Post-original plot. Beyond x OC.

**Author's Note: **I've been writing way too many fics about psych wards. Not cool. But I'm going to do it anyway. It's not like the whole plot is going to take place in it, so I don't think it's a problem. Anyway. Hi, I'm Paige, I'm the author; if you combine me, Beyond and Jackie, you get PB&J, which I think is a sign. Of what, I don't know. I once thought I found my destiny by staring into a ceiling lamp. That's probably a testament to the verity of these "feelings" I get. I know a lot of people are probably sick of seeing OCs in Death Note fanfiction, but I believe that if you don't like it, you shouldn't bother reading it. If you're still here after reading the summary that clearly stated that this was an OC fic, then I'm going to hope you'll keep an open mind when it comes to your judgement of the story, despite the OC's involvement and your possible skepticism towards it. That said, please tell me what you think! Reviews make my life a happy one, and they make this fanfic a better one; if you don't like something, tell me. That's the only way I can make the change, right? And if you like it so far, please, I'd love to hear from you! It encourages me to keep going with it, and I really appreciate it. Anyway, on with the story! Enjoy.

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_"A story has no beginning or end: arbitrarily one chooses that moment of experience from which to look back or from which to look ahead." - Graham Greene, The End of the Affair_

* * *

_Buzz. _A pair of curious red eyes flickered up to a window, in which an older woman with slightly graying hair pressed a small button, and with the corresponding buzz, he and the four security guards escorting him were allowed entry to the locked unit. He walked forward immediately, tired of being pushed by his escorts, and was met by the smiling face of who he assumed to be a nurse. Her hair was straight, black and tied up in a ponytail, and she had red-rimmed glasses leaning on her nose. Everything about her appearance was entirely ordinary, in his eyes.

"Hi there! I'm Kimiko, and I'll be your nurse tonight. Welcome to Unit 23!" she greeted him cheerfully, and he was silent, trying to distinguish whether her painfully positive attitude was genuine or not. He decided it was somewhere in between both, and dismissed it from his mind. Her smile began to fade as he continued not to speak, not interested enough to grace her greeting with an answer. She gave it a couple seconds more before giving up, though maintaining her upbeat demeanor.

"Anyway, why don't I show you to your room?" she asked, gesturing for him to follow her. He trailed after her, glancing around his new home as he did. He noticed that two of the security guards had now left, leaving him with only the remaining two and the nurse. He briefly weighed his odds against them; the nurse could be taken out in seconds, but the guards posed a threat. They had weapons and strength in numbers, though less than before, and he did not. Besides, how would he get out of the unit? He dismissed the thought, and continued to follow his nurse.

"Since it's your first night here and you did come from a pretty high-security place, we're going to have to ask that you remain in your room until we have the psychiatrist come in to evaluate you. It shouldn't be too much of a problem, considering it's almost bedtime anyway. You won't be missing out on much," she explained with a smile, leading him from the entrance area and into the common area. Beyond remained silent, due to both a mix of an entire lack of interest in what she had to say and the fact that his attention was otherwise occupied. As his eyes scanned the room, they focused on one girl in particular; more specifically, the name that he saw above her head. Jackie Asano. He knew her better as J. He couldn't say that he would've recognized her without the identification that her name provided; she had dyed her naturally black hair bright red, and she had grown up quite a bit since their last encounter. He had to admit, it surprised him a bit to see her here. He had been aware of her mental health issues, but hadn't expected to run into her in a psychiatric unit. Now that he had, he couldn't help but question the coincidence of them both being here. He had been moved without warning from the high-security asylum he had been in for a year to this unit, and was given no explanation. He had been behaving well, but he doubted he was moved for good behavior. Someone like L, perhaps, would have the authority to move him, but he had been reliably informed that his predecessor was officially deceased.

The thoughts and possibilities were racing through his mind, and after he had been staring at the red-haired young woman for several seconds, she finally looked over and locked eyes with him. He knew that he had recognized her by the slight widening of her brown eyes, though the rest of her face gave no indication. It wasn't as if his appearance had changed much, and his red eyes tended to give him away.

As soon as they locked eyes, the moment was over, and Beyond was taken into a hallway with a door marked "High Observation". After a brief farewell from his nurse, he was left in his room with the door open, much to his protest. Apparently, they needed to be able to keep an eye on him. You know, because he could do so much harm in a room with nothing but a bed. He sighed and laid down on the bed, closing his eyes.

After several minutes, he gave up on his half-hearted attempt to sleep. It wasn't going to work; his thoughts kept returning to Jackie. He wondered why she was here, and though he somewhat denied the fact, he was pleased to see her. He closed his eyes once more, recalling the first time he met her.

_Everyone was talking; Wammy's was getting a new student. Considering what a small world it is when one is in an isolated orphanage cut off from the rest of the world, it was quite an event to be seeing a new face. When he walked down the hallways, all Beyond heard was chatter amongst other students; questions about what they thought the new girl was going to be like. Would she be smart enough to challenge the top students? Would she be pretty? Funny? Interesting? Personally, the raven-haired teen did not particularly care; a new kid wouldn't affect him in any way._

_That said, he, like so many others, was a victim of curiosity, and found himself waiting in the entrance area of the orphanage when the kids on lookout informed everyone that Watari's car had arrived. He waited impatiently, hunched over like the "beloved" L, eyes focused on the large doors. Several seconds later, they swung open to reveal the grey-haired butler of the detective, accompanied by a small, black-haired female. Beyond studied her silently, unlike many of the others who approached her and began asking her questions. Her hair was straight and shoulder-length, and her eyes were a boring, chocolate brown. She wore a black hoodie, grey skinny jeans and a pair of black combat boots, and it didn't look like she was wearing makeup. Overall, he found her to be completely ordinary. Nothing about her struck him as interesting; nothing stood out. She seemed normal, and he found it slightly disappointing. Before he turned to leave, he noticed one more thing about her; she was not speaking. She was facing a barrage of questions, an interrogation, even, from the other students, and she didn't blink an eye. Her face was composed and blank, and her lips did not move. He wondered if she was mute, perhaps; most of the kids here lost their parents in some traumatic event, and he had met a few in whom it had caused muteness. He shrugged it off, disappearing back upstairs to his room. Once again, he decided, she did not affect him._

A small smirk found its way to his face; it turned out that the silent young girl had more of an impact on him than he had initially expected. The day she arrived was only the beginning, and she was far from as ordinary as he deduced.

_Beyond was bored; classes were over for the day, and he had absolutely nothing to do. It was the beginning of the weekend, and he wasn't particularly interested in studying when there was not yet a need to. He had read all of his books. So he found himself exploring the main floor of Wammy's; the large living room in which most of the students spent their free time. As he scanned the room, his crimson eyes landed on the new girl; at the table near the fireplace, she was sitting and playing chess with herself. He smirked; she really was quite antisocial, wasn't she? One couldn't learn much about strategy when he or she is playing against themselves._

_That in mind, he decided he would join her. He walked over to the table and sat down in the chair across from her. Her brown eyes flickered up to meet his red ones, and her expression gave no indication as to what she was thinking. She was just starting a new game, so all of the pieces except a white pawn on her side were in their beginning placement. Wordlessly, he started playing with her, advancing his pawn two spaces._

_She glanced up at him, as if considering whether or not she was willing to continue the game with him. After several seconds, she moved another pawn, breaking eye contact and lowering her gaze to the board. He smirked slightly; he saw her as a challenge, and her compliance with the game was the first step to winning his game._

To this day, he still found her to be a challenge worthy of his interest; and he had still not won the game. She was one of the most complicated people he had ever met, and he had yet to figure her out. Her thought processes still eluded him; she kept so much to herself and prided herself in her ability to mask her emotions and thoughts. When she wanted to be, she could do an impressive imitation of a robot. Or L, for that matter. Not that there was much of a difference between them. He never knew what she was thinking, or why she said what she did.

_It had been two weeks since her arrival at Wammy's, and to the best of his knowledge, she had not spoken to anyone besides Watari; not even her teachers, who were beginning to grow frustrated with her. Despite this, after classes every day, he would find her in the living room, playing chess with herself. In the beginning, when he approached her and began to play, she would assess him, considering as she had the first time, whether or not she would let him play. Each time, she would agree to it, despite her wordless protesting. And eventually, when he arrived at the table, she would return all of the pieces she had moved to their starting positions, fully expecting and even welcoming him to play. It had become a daily routine for the both of them. _

_Today was no different. He had quickly made his way to the table at his usual time, and they had begun their game. He fully expected to win; he always did. He had expected to be bored by that fact eventually, but he wasn't; she never repeated the same strategy. Each game was a new experience, and he never knew what to expect from her. He always looked for insight into a person's personality by the way they played chess, but she masked hers completely by always changing her style. It intrigued him._

_Her eyes suddenly looked up from the board and met his, and he knew what this meant; his king was in check. Since she would not even speak to say "check", he had to rely on her facial expressions for any indication. Of course, that was if he didn't already notice or see it coming. Before he had a chance to move, he noticed that her eyes did not return to the board immediately after, as per usual, but rather remained focused on his own. _

_"I like your eyes," she commented quietly and nonchalantly, as if she had been speaking consistently for her entire stay at the orphanage. He blinked at her, masking all surprise he felt at her sudden speech. Several seconds after the shock faded, he resisted the urge to sarcastically reply "I get that a lot," and said "Thank you." He moved his bishop in front of his king, returning his focus to the game._

_She nodded, and something in her expression changed. He couldn't place it; it was as if she was trying to hide something, but she was so good at it that he couldn't figure out what that was. As soon as she moved her rook, he understood. No matter where he moved his king, it would be taken. There was no way out of it. If he had been paying more attention to his last move, he could've taken her queen, but it was too late, and he was cornered. Now that he had realized what emotion she was hiding, she let a small smirk grow on her lips. _

_"Checkmate."_

He smirked to himself; he still didn't know whether she meant that comment or she was just trying to win the game by using distraction. After all, it was the first and only game of chess that she had ever won against him. And it was not only the first day she spoke, but the beginning of it becoming a usual thing. She did not become an extrovert overnight, and she continued to refuse to speak to teachers and other students. But over time, Beyond and Jackie began speaking more often. They discussed what happened to their families, what their old lives were like, their opinions on various things, what sort of movies they liked, how to sneak out of the orphanage, and many other topics. Eventually, they spoke about more personal things; her other personalities, his unraveling sanity. They became what many would call friends.

He sighed, rolling over onto his side. He hadn't seen her in many years; when A died, he had left, and they had been apart ever since. Beyond had often wondered what happened to her, what she had done once he was gone. He wondered if she made any more friends. He doubted it. He was curious, now, about what she had done to land herself here, in a psychiatric unit. Despite her general mental instability, he hadn't ever thought of her as being dangerous enough to be sent here.

"Five minutes until bedtime, everyone! Grab what you need; iPods, towels, water, and get yourselves to bed!" a voice that Beyond didn't recognize called, who he assumed to be a nurse. Just as he was about to close his eyes to attempt to sleep once more, he heard his door creak open slightly. He snapped his crimson eyes open only to catch the form of the very girl on his mind in the doorway. Before he had a chance to say anything to her, she tossed several small packages into his room, closed the door, and left before being caught by the nurses. He stood from his bed and moved over to where the packages had fallen, and crouched beside them. He carefully picked one up and examined it; he smirked. Strawberry jam.

**Extra - Late Nights with J And Eri: Two Girls, One Cup**

With one minute to spare, Jackie had made it back to her room, arms full of towels for her shower. She had not been caught sneaking into High Obs., and she was impressed with herself. She dropped the towels off on the bench in their bathroom, and walked over to her bed, flopping down onto it.

"So, who's the guy? You know him? He's kind of cute, in a creepy way," her roommate, Eri, asked, as she crawled up into a sitting position with her legs crossed. She always wanted good gossip. She had a grin on her face, and Jackie sighed, smiling slightly. Eri had been trying to set her up with guys since the moment she had arrived on the unit. She was eighteen, like J herself, and she was an interesting girl, to say the least.

"His name is B. I knew him when I was younger," the red-haired young woman answered, leaning back on the wall behind her bed.

"I ship it. I totally ship it." Eri nodded in approval.

"You shipped me and Hana's pet rock as soon as she said it was male."

"You're so shippable! Anyway, the nurses were bitchy tonight. Let's blast music and sing really loudly to annoy them."

"They'll just tell us to turn it off," J replied, rolling her eyes.

"It's not like we'll listen." Eri quickly made her way over to the windowsill, where she grabbed a Styrofoam cup, J's iPod and her earphones, and sat down. She placed the earphones into the cup to make the music louder, and turned the volume on the music player up to its loudest. J pushed her belongings into the corner of the windowsill, making room for her to sit, and climbed onto it. She could never argue with Eri. Within seconds, Chartreuse was blasting from the cup.

"Color me this way~," Eri sang, waving her arms to the right. J did the same.

"Color me that way~," J continued, and they both waved her arms to the left.

"Color me inside out," They both sang, waving their arms in front of them.

"Color me upside d-" Eri attempted to wave her arms once more, but ended up falling off of the windowsill. J laughed, offering her hand to help her back up. Once she had returned to the windowsill, she changed the song, and placed her hand dramatically on the window.

"When you try your best, but you don't succeeeeed," she sang, a painfully fake sad expression adorning her face. "When you get what you want, but not what you neeeeeed." She turned her head out the window, staring off into the distance. "When you feel so tired, but you can't sleeeeeep. Stuck in reveeeeeeeerse." She continued to sing the lyrics, pretending that she was in a music video, until she got to the chorus. She turned to J, holding her arm out towards her, the sad, melodramatic look still on her face. "And I will try to fix yoouuu."

The song changed, and they both started singing as loud as they could. "Don't mind us, we're just spilling our guts! If this is love, I don't wanna be loved! You pollute the room with a filthy tongue, watch me choke it down so I can throw it up!" They sang at the top of their lungs, jumping on J's bed.

Eri pressed the fast forward button on J's iPod, and the song changed once more. "Just a small town girl," Eri sang, placing her hand on the window once more, "Living in a lonely world. She took the midnight train going anyyyywhere."

J matched Eri's position with her hand on the window, and once her lyrics started, she swung her head to face the other way, long hair swinging with her. "Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit. He took the midnight train going anyyyywhere."

They both turned to look at the window and slammed their hands against it, playing the drums to the best of their abilities, until the next lines started. They sang simultaneously; "A singer in a smoky room; the smell of wine and cheeeap perfuuuume. For a smile, they could share the night, it goes on and on and on and ooooooon~!"

They finished the song and it switched to the next one, and J unintentionally turned to look out the window as she sang the beginning of Jar of Hearts. She didn't realize that she was getting so into it until the song spontaneously changed again.

"You were getting way too intense. The song had to change," Eri commented, finger still on the fast forward button as she looked through the songs on shuffle. As soon as the first notes of the next song began to play, they both knew what it was immediately.

"I JUST HAD SEEEEX, AND IT FEEELT SO GOOD!" They screamed, and just before they got to sing any longer, a nurse opened their door.

"You have not had sex in the last thirty minutes, you're not qualified to sing that song. Go to sleep," she said, clearly hiding her amusement as she closed the door once more.

**Author's Note: There will be Late Nights With J And Eri excerpts at the end of each chapter until J is no longer in the hospital. Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Please review if you did (or if you didn't)! - Ordinary Insanity**


	2. Cheese Curds

**Author's Note: Okay, this one ended up a bit longer than it was supposed to. I had actually intended for it to include something else, too, but I forgot about it when I was writing it and liked the way things had turned out when I had finished, so I didn't want to change it. Please review if you enjoyed it!**

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_"Friends. Those companions you speak of are only friends during those fun, yet unimportant times. When painful times come, they won't be your ally."_

* * *

"J, wake up," the monotone voice that J recognized to be her key nurse, Aika's, awoke her from her deep sleep. Deciding she'd rather return to her dream, she rolled over and pulled a blanket over her head, brown eyes still not opening.

"Wake up. I'm not going to wait more than two minutes before I start taking privileges away," she continued with a stern voice. Aika was the entire unit's least favorite nurse; she was quite old and very rigid in her ways. She wasn't even popular among the other nurses. Unfortunately for J, Aika was assigned to her case, which meant that as her key nurse, she would be looking after J every day that she was working.

"Can I help you?" J called from under the blanket with an irritated tone, turning back over to face her and removing the blanket from her head. It revealed a tangled mess of red hair that was sticking up in every direction, and a pair of brown eyes that were undeniably glaring at the nurse beside her bed.

"I have your pills," she answered, holding out a small, plastic cup of water and a tiny paper cup of pills. The red-haired young woman sighed and sat up, taking the cups from her. She dumped the various meds into her mouth and swallowed as much of the water as she could, before dropping the smaller cup inside the larger one and handing it to Aika, who walked out seconds later without another word.

Technically, patients were not expected to get up at the time at which they're presented with their medication. Groups didn't start until noon, and nurses usually handed out pills at around seven thirty. She looked over at the other bed in her room; Eri was already up. J contemplated going back to bed for several seconds, before the events of yesterday came back to her. Beyond was here. That was reason enough to get out of bed, because she knew that she would never sleep with that much on her mind.

She swung her legs out of her bed, leaving the messy covers as they were as she walked over to her closet. Pulling the door open and looking into the inside, she grabbed a black knit sweater with a white bear on it, her grey jeans and a pair of socks with Christmas trees on them, and closed the closet once more. She walked into the bathroom, and after five minutes, she was out of her pyjamas with brushed hair and teeth, and had finished with her makeup. She walked back to her bed and zipped on her combat boots before walking out of their room and into the common area.

She scanned the room, eyes briefly landing on one of the kitchen tables. Sitting at it were four of the younger patients and one nurse, who was explaining something to them. She wasn't listening closely enough to hear what he was saying, but all of the sudden he snapped the apple he was holding in half, and everyone else at the table gasped. He continued to show them how it was done, and everyone grabbed apples from the basket by the microwave, attempting to follow his example. Within minutes, this resulted in smashed apple pieces flying around the kitchen as they got frustrated and started punching the apples. J shook her head and smiled, shifting her attention from them to the rest of the room. She sighed, not seeing Beyond anywhere.

Crossing the room to grab a Styrofoam cup, she filled it with hot water from the water dispenser, and walked back over to the far left cupboard in the kitchen to grab a tea bag. As she dropped it into the water and let it steep, the loud chatter of two other patients distracted her. She opened several packages of sugar and poured them in as she looked over; a small smile spread across her lips. They were making cookie dough.

_"You're not helping at all, Beyond," J complained, hitting the teen's sneaky fingers as he stole a glob of uncooked cookie dough from the bowl she was mixing. The whole kitchen counter was covered in flour, sugar and egg shells, and various bowls and measuring cups were scattered everywhere. Roger was going to kill them when he found out, if they didn't clean up this mess._

_"I don't recall ever saying that I would," he answered with a smirk, taking a bite of his prize. Just as he reached in for another handful, the door to the orphanage's large kitchen swung open, revealing another orphan J had come to know as O. _

_As a very introverted person, J never spoke to others unless they initiated the conversation, and even then, she often elected not to answer at all. While she was often quite silent, she actually very much enjoyed the company of others; even if she didn't talk to many of the other students at Wammy's House, she knew all of their names and what they were like. She appreciated them and felt a connection to them without having ever spoken to them. Sometimes she forgets that they've never officially met, and is momentarily hurt when they don't know her, but then she smiles and shrugs it off, remembering the circumstances. So when J saw O standing in the doorway, she knew exactly who he was, though the other orphan probably could not say the same about her._

_Her eyes widened slightly as she stared at the other student, deciding to remain silent. When her eyes flickered towards her raven-haired friend, she almost flinched. He had adopted a menacing look on his face, and she would've been scared if she hadn't known it wasn't directed at her. _

_"What the fuck did you guys do to the kitchen? I want to make some damn lunch, but look at this place," he stated, a threatening tone to his voice. He reached across the counter to grab the bowl of cookie dough from J, who pulled it back just in time. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Beyond tense, and she knew that she had to do something to get O out of here before he did something he would regret. Well, he might not regret it, but she would regret it for him._

_"Is that cookie dough? Give it to me. Consider it compensation for fucking up my kitchen," he demanded, slamming his hand down on the counter. She almost jumped at the sudden movement, but didn't want to appear so weak or fearful, so she masked her surprise. Contemplating what she should do for several seconds, she saw Beyond reach for his pocket where she knew his knife was and made up her mind. In one swift movement, she grabbed a small glob of cookie dough and threw it directly at O's face. The room was silent for a second, before Beyond started to chuckle and a grin broke out on J's face. The angry orphan then scraped the dough from his face, revealing a furious expression below it. _

_He stepped towards her, about to grab her by her shirt. "You fuckin—" _

_A knife whizzed by his throat, missing by less than an inch. If it had been thrown any higher, it would've lodged itself in the boy's jaw, and if it had been any further back, it would've landed straight in his throat. O backed up from the black-haired girl, turning slowly to face the one who had thrown it. Beyond was smirking, and there was a dangerous look in his eyes. O did not show his fear, but J knew that the raven-haired teen could sense it; it was like a sixth sense to him. _

_"Leave," Beyond ordered forcefully, as if challenging him to disobey and see what would happen. The now not as aggressive orphan turned to face J once more, and the female simply stared at him pleadingly, urging him to go with her eyes in fear that the other male would hurt him. It wasn't that she cared about him or wanted to protect him; in fact, she'd probably feel better if the red-eyed teen did hurt or kill him. What she didn't want, however, was for Beyond to be put into solitary confinement again, like the last time he hurt another student._

_Wordlessly, O left the kitchen, shooting one more glare at J. He, like every other student at the orphanage, knew that one should simply not argue with B. He had proven it many times, and nearly everyone was afraid of him. _

_The raven-haired teenager quickly made his way over to the wall on the opposite side of the room, where his knife was now lodged. Pulling it out, he flipped it back and returned it to its place in his pocket. "What, no 'thank you'?" he asked with a smirk, red eyes meeting her brown ones._

_J sighed, pulling out another handful of cookie dough and rolling it into a ball. "I don't want you to get in trouble, Beyond. What if he tells Roger?" she asked, worry decorating her face. She placed the ball of cookie dough on the greased up pan beside the bowl. _

_"He's not stupid enough to do that. He knows what would happen if he did," he replied with a shrug, smirk widening slightly. J did not doubt that, but she still worried. Picking up another piece of cookie dough, she noticed a difference in consistency that she had with the first one, too. She brought it close to her and examined it, not finding anything out of the ordinary besides a slight change in color from what it usually looked like. Blaming it on her sub-par baking abilities, she continued rolling the globs into balls and placing them on the pan. And every time she looked away and back again, Beyond had yet another piece of it in his hand._

_"You don't even like cookie dough," she stated, raising an eyebrow at his strange behavior. Her comment was met with only another smirk, and a reply that she would only understand later._

_"You'd be surprised."_

_Fifteen minutes later, the baking timer on the stovetop began to beep, letting them know that the cookies were done. Rummaging around for some oven mitts, J finally found some and put them on, opening the oven. She pulled the pan out and closed the oven behind it, placing the pan of cookies on the stove. Smelling something off about them, her brow furrowed, and she leaned closer to smell them more. _

_"What did you do to the cookies?" she asked, turning to face the black-haired teen standing by the counter with eyes narrowed. He grinned, feigning innocence._

_"Why would you ever think I'd done something?" he asked teasingly, leaning against the side of the counter. His eyes darted to the cookies, and he picked one up from the still-hot pan, evidently not caring about the heat. His grin only widened when he took a bite of it, which pushed J to take a cookie of her own and try it. The moment she did, she sighed, spitting it out into the garbage can below the sink. _

_"You put strawberry jam in my cookies."_

J shook her head, her previous smile remaining on her lips. The cookies hadn't even been that bad, she had just wanted to annoy Beyond. Of course, it hadn't worked; like every attempt on her part to irritate him, it had simply invoked a smirk or chuckle.

Leaving her tea on the counter, the red-head walked over to the fridge and grabbed a small container of milk, bringing it back over and pouring it into her cup. With the last plastic spoon she had found in the drawer below the counter, she stirred the ingredients into her tea, bringing it back to her room with her after tossing the cutlery into the garbage can. Setting it down on the windowsill beside her bed, she grabbed her book and leaned back on the bed. Opening it to the page she had left off on, she attempted to distract herself from the memories that were flooding back with her favorite Sherlock Holmes mystery; The Adventure of the Speckled Band.

Maybe it would've worked better if she hadn't already read it more times than she could count. Sighing, she closed it once more, dog-earing the page at the top and setting it down on the windowsill beside her tea. She stood up from her bed, walking around it to sit in that very sill, J leaned her head on the cold glass, brown eyes looking down at the park below. Unfortunately for her, not all of the memories running through her mind were ones that she wanted to think about.

_"Beyond, what's wrong?" she questioned desperately, not understanding why her raven-haired friend seemed so…unstable. His crimson eyes held that dangerous glint to them once more, and it was mixed with another emotion that she couldn't identify. It scared her, but more than that, it worried her. Looking down at her, he roughly pushed her out of the way, deciding to simply not answer. He stalked down the hallway towards his room, and something told her that she shouldn't follow, for her own well-being._

_She didn't see him for the rest of the night. The next morning, he did not come out of his room when she went to meet him before classes like always. She knocked repeatedly, but was given no answer. Forced to either open the hopefully unlocked door herself and risk him being angry with her, or to leave him be. Curiosity overcoming her as it always did, she turned the doorknob and was apprehensive but relieved to find that it was, in fact, unlocked. Pushing the door open, she looked inside and was met with confusion. The room was messy; drawers had been ripped out of their sockets, and the closet doors were left hanging open. There were papers and books and some clothes scattered around the floor, but for the most part, Beyond's belongings were gone. Brow furrowing, she closed the door behind her as she left, heading to her classes by herself._

_Until her fourth and last class of the day, she had no idea what was going on. It wasn't as if she was going to talk to anyone to figure out what had happened; the only people she spoke to were Beyond and Watari. So that left her to wallow in her confusion and worry for most of the day, until she overheard a group of students discussing what was on her mind during her psychology class._

_"A is actually dead?" a blonde girl questioned, shock made obvious in her expression. J's eyes snapped over to her, though not making it obvious that she was listening. She knew very little about A, but she did know that he and Beyond had a relationship of some sort. In the black-haired teen's twisted way, J was sure that he cared about him. But A was dead…?_

_"Yeah. He killed himself. Apparently the pressure was too much. And now Backup's gone, too. He disappeared yesterday and no one has found him," the boy across from her replied nonchalantly, as if that was just an everyday occurrence. _

_J's eyes widened, and she stopped breathing for a second. She felt like her heart skipped a beat, but it was probably her imagination. Beyond was gone? But… He didn't even say goodbye. How could he? Why? _

_She stood up abruptly, grabbing her books and clutching them close to her as she walked out of class. She heard her teacher calling after her, and before she left, she saw the knowing glances that were sent her way from the students who were talking behind her. _

**_"That fucker!" _**_Kenji, her violent alter, shouted in her head._

**_"I did tell you not to get attached, J, love." _**_Z taunted._

**_"Shut the fuck up, Z! I'm gonna kill him!"_**

_The voices were getting louder. She didn't want to hear them right now. She could barely keep herself from letting Kenji take control; he was stronger than her, and she couldn't hold him back. She tried to focus on just walking to her room; a goal like that could keep her grounded, right? She tried not to think about what she would do when she got there._

_"J, stop," a familiar voice called out. Not being one to disobey often, she stopped in her tracks with an irritated sigh, turning to face Roger. "We need to put you in confinement for a while. You're obviously not stable."_

No. _She couldn't deal with that now. She needed an outlet. She needed a knife. Being left alone, even if it was supposed to be for her own safety, would just make things worse if she couldn't cut. _Shit. _She felt herself slipping. _No! _She protested. She put up a fight, but it did her no good. _

_"Stay the fuck away from us, asshole!" Kenji shouted, now having full control of the body. Just as he was about to tackle the older man to the ground, he felt handcuffs snap around his wrists from behind. He snapped his head around to come face to face with Watari, who looked almost pained to have to do this. And with that, he was dragged to an empty, padded room, kicking and screaming and fighting for his freedom._

J leaned forward, hugging her knees as she leaned her head down between them. While she wasn't in control, she could see what was happening. It was like being in the passenger seat of a car; due to that, she remembered the events that had followed. Kenji had managed to scratch Roger so hard that he bled, which at least brought him some satisfaction. And after banging at the door of solitary confinement for about half an hour, he relinquished control to the host of the body, which was J herself. Even without a knife, her fingernails had managed to rip up her arms. Drops of red stained the white padding all around the room. When they came to bring in dinner, they clipped her nails, but it didn't stop her. It might've taken her more effort, but she didn't give up. When they realized the extend of her wounds, they wrapped them up and put her in a strait jacket. That night, she fell asleep smelling like blood and tears.

It wasn't a time that J liked to recall. She sighed once more, leaning back on the wall. After a couple days, they let her out once they'd been convinced that she had calmed down. It didn't take her long to get packed up and leave.

J had always loved Wammy's House. She loved L. She respected him, and she wanted to do her best to become his successor, despite the fact that it was deemed impossible with the constant voices distracting her from her work. She always tried her best. But the day that she heard that B left, that changed. She couldn't love the orphanage anymore, and she couldn't love the detective. She blamed him for this.

Since Wammy's had already taught her college-level courses that were necessary to become a detective, she decided to become a private one on her own. It went well for a while; almost a year, in fact. She was successful; she had her own apartment, and she had her own job. She still lacked friends, but she didn't suffer the loss of something she never really had to begin with.

But that did not remain, for one day she woke up in a blood-covered room she did not recognize with a body on the floor that had the letter X carved into its chest. It didn't take the other alters long to tell her what X had done when he had control of the body. Instead of running like Z suggested, she turned herself in. She couldn't take it anymore; waking up to things she couldn't remember, knowing that she'd done things that she would never normally do. Instead of calling the police, however, she called Watari. He had her sent to a trusted psychiatric unit where she could still work on minor cases, and that's where she resided now, and has for almost two years.

And now she was right back where she started; Beyond was here, and her feelings were mixed. Part of her was thrilled to see him; she had missed him unbelievably. But all of the feelings of hurt and betrayal were now brought up to the surface. She wanted to hug him and punch him in the face at the same time, and she hoped that soon, she would have the opportunity.

**Extra – Late Nights With J And Eri: No, ****_You're _****A Cheese Curd**

"I'm so fucking hyper tonight!" Eri exclaimed, shutting the door to their room as she entered, at exactly the same time as the nurse outside yelled for everyone to go to their rooms. J set her book down, dog-earing the page as she looked up at her roommate.

"Nice timing. Any particular reason?" she inquired, leaning back on her bed as she observed the other girl.

"Nah, man, I'm just awesome right now! Damn, I need to brush my hurr," she played with her hair, pulling it to one side, "By that, I mean hair. By that, I mean octopus. Octopi. What if a vagina gave birth to a cat?"

"How else do you think cats are born?"

She waved a hand dismissively. "I meant human vaginas. God, shut up mom, you're a cheese curd." She picked up her hot chocolate, moving over to sit in the windowsill. "I'm too hot for my hot chocolate~ I'm too hot for my hot chocolate~" she sang, dancing with her cup. She then stood up, leaving it behind on the sill, walking into the bathroom. J simply stared, a small, amused smile playing on her lips as she heard her call "Oooo, you're a rowdy little turtle." Sprinting out of the bathroom, she pulled open the closet door violently, shoving herself inside and singing some lyrics that J didn't recognize. Then she threw herself out, running over to her bed and making her body into a straight line as she leaned against it. "I am 90 degree angle."

"That would require you to—"

"Shut up, J! I AM EXORCIST!" she yelled, bending herself backwards. Picking up a pair of sunglasses from where she had left them on the floor, she threw them up in the air, spinning around, attempting to catch them as they fell. "The name's Bond." When she missed, she dove to grab them before the hit the floor, almost falling in the process. She then shoved them onto her face, with them ending up being lopsided and barely hanging on her face. "James Bond."

Eri jumped over to her bed, crawling in a seemingly very uncomfortable position. "Ooo, heart attack in the back," she commented, hand on her back where J assumed she was in pain from her landing. "Got a cramp. You're cramping my style, Grandpa. But Billy, I'm just trying to be hip with the kids!" She suddenly stood up, as if the words that next came out of her mouth were a message from God himself. "Toes are feet fingers from hell! I swear that all mankind will eat sandwiches with their pinky toes! And then God invented the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals. I'm more hyper than a walrus in a Kentucky farm!" Taking something out of her backpack that J identified as a small perfume bottle, she then sprayed it into her mouth. "Ooo, tastes like the devil."

"How do you know what the devil tastes like?"

"How _do_ I know what the devil tastes like?" She waggled her eyebrows. "Silly little domingo, I'm Jesus Christ, god of the sexuals. You know what? My grandma. Yeah, that's it. Back into the closet I go!" She jumped back into the closet, closing the door behind her. From inside, she called, "You know what? You're a Kinder Egg. And I appreciate that." She walked out of the closet and looked at J, who was now holding her iPod, about to drown out Eri's antics with music. "You play that music, white boy!"

"I'm not a boy."

"Well, you're not a cat either, but I'm not naming names. Ooo, what if I did a handstand?"

**Author's Note: Yeah, Eri has ADHD, and sometimes her pills don't work. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. Please review!**


	3. Karaoke

**Author's Note: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, followed, favorited or just read this story! It means a lot to me. I hope you enjoy this chapter; it's the first actual interaction between Beyond and J that isn't a flashback.**

**To Killer-In-The-Making: She's a fun person to be friends with. She's based on a real person, who I was fortunate enough to get to know during the past couple months. Thank you for your review! I hope you enjoy the new chapter.**

**To Kyoki no Megami: Thank you for your review! I really appreciate that you think so. I hope you enjoy the new chapter, as well!**

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_"Don't let your happiness depend on something you may lose." —C.S. Lewis_

* * *

It was a weekend, which meant that a large amount of the usual patients were out on passes with their families. While J did have doctor-ordered weekend passes, since she had no family or trusted friends that would be able to supervise her, so she was forced to stay on the unit. Although it was disappointing to have to stay while everyone else got to go, the nurses always did fun things to bring up the moods of the people stuck still in the hospital. Not only that, but the chocolate milk, muffins and cookies always came on weekends, which meant only the patients who had stayed would get them. It was a small thing, but in a place like this, one needed things to look forward to.

For most of the day, J had stayed in her room, reading in the windowsill as she always did. Never having liked listening to music through headphones, she instead elected to follow Eri's example and blast the music from them so that she could hear it without the earphones being in her ears. It had been a quiet day so far, as her roommate was gone on a day pass, and there were never any meetings with doctors or group therapy sessions on weekends. As much as she enjoyed the down time, it became tedious after a while. When she realized that she had to strain her eyes to be able to read, it finally occurred to her that it was starting to get dark. Preventing her eyes from being damaged further, she dog-eared the page she was on and set the book down on the window sill. J pulled herself out of her cocoon of blankets, swinging her legs down from the bed and onto the floor. She grabbed her iPod and her earphones, shoving them in her pocket. Not feeling like putting on her boots, she left her room with socked feet, arms crossed. Dinner would be arriving soon, so it seemed like a good idea to be prepared for it when it did.

Brown eyes scanned the common area, and although she denied it, she knew she was searching for Beyond. A quiet sigh escaped her lips when she didn't see him anywhere, and decided, however reluctantly, to take a seat on the couch where the TV was switched onto the news. For several minutes, she watched and listened to the headlines, before growing bored with them and pulling out her iPod. As much as she appreciated the connection to the outside world, she had never been a big fan of the news. J found that they brought up too many irrelevant topics, so she preferred to read about current world news herself, as she had the ability to scan through it and find what she needed to know. Scrolling through the thousands of songs on her music player, she finally decided on one that she wanted to hear and pressed the 'play' button. Although her attention was on the lyrics that were being sung, her eyes remained locked on the television screen, in case anything interesting came up.

So, when someone seemingly came out of nowhere and crouched beside her, she didn't notice their presence until they tugged on her earphones and pulled them out. J nearly jumped out of her skin, and whipped her head around to face the one who had scared her. Masking her surprise upon seeing who it was, she relaxed herself, letting her shoulders sink down again as she locked eyes with Beyond.

"I'd appreciate if you would show me where they keep the jam that you so kindly brought to me last night," he requested, his voice monotone as it always was. A small, amused smile tugged at the edges of J's lips, and she rolled her eyes; part of her had hoped for some sort of greeting or apology, but that would have been unlike Beyond. Of course he wanted the jam.

"Sure. Come on," she gestured for him to follow her as she stood from the couch and walked over to the cupboards in the kitchen. Opening one in particular, she moved some small cardboard boxes full of maple syrup and sugar to reveal two boxes filled with small packages of strawberry jam. J moved out of the way so that he could see, and gestured to them. "This is where they always are. I'd suggest pacing yourself, because they only get replaced every couple days, and I'm pretty sure they won't be expecting the entire supply to be decimated in one night," she teased, a small smile on her lips as she looked at him.

Beyond smirked slightly, gathering a handful of the packages and taking them back to the couch where they sat before. She followed him like a lost puppy, hating how happy she was to have him around again. Taking back her previous seat, she brought her legs up under her and sat cross-legged. Despite how long she'd imagined seeing him again, now that her fantasies were reality, she didn't know what to say.

"I wasn't aware that they allowed iPods in here," he commented, red eyes darting down to the device in her hand. It had been quite a while since he had had access to any form of technology, and it surprised him that it would be permitted in such a place.

J nodded. "Only the older ones that don't have cameras or Internet access."

"May I borrow it?" he questioned, still looking at it with interest before glancing up at her once more.

Nodding once more, she wrapped the earphones around it and handed it to the raven-haired man. "You can have it for the rest of the day, if you want. Just give it back before bedtime."

He nodded his thanks, rarely being one to vocalize such a useless sentiment. For several minutes, they sat in silence, and Beyond unwrapped the earphones and began to listen to the music. When J glanced over, it seemed to her as if he was searching for something on it, but simply dismissed it and returned to her thoughts. Unfortunately for her, those thoughts weren't exactly positive ones. She had hoped for…more than this. More of a reunion, rather than just making small talk about jam and iPods. She had missed him immensely, but she seriously doubted that he had felt the same.

When the silence had become more than she could take, she finally decided to break it with a comment of a more serious nature. "I was following your murders on the news. They were impressive."

He raised an eyebrow, turning his attention from the music player to her. "What gave me away? They didn't announce my name to the public."

"You told me some of your ideas for the unsolvable crime back at the orphanage. The crossword was one of them," she explained briefly, her brown eyes meeting his red ones.

"You didn't tell anyone," he stated, skillfully masking the slight surprise that he felt. Knowing her, he would have expected the woman to contact L or Watari immediately just to save B from hurting himself in the end.

"No, I didn't. Though, I almost did, once I had speculated what the end result would be." J sighed, crossing her arms once again. Her brow furrowed, and a wave of guilt overcame her; maybe if she had done something, he wouldn't have been so close to death.

"Why didn't you?" B inquired, genuinely curious. He had always been aware that J cared for him, so what would have held her back?

"It was too late. You miss a lot of details when all you see of the crimes are snip-its from the news. By the time I had figured it out, you had already set yourself on fire." Although she was skilled at hiding her emotions, she was not on the level of L or B; he could still tell by looking at her eyes that the memory pained her. He could relate.

He studied her silently for several seconds, trying to answer the question he was about to ask before it came out of his mouth. "Would you have told anyone if you had deduced it earlier?" Although he hoped for a 'yes', he wasn't sure what to expect. After all, he _had _disappeared for years. Perhaps things had changed with her since then.

"Yeah," she replied, not hesitating in the slightest. She had thought about it before, in great detail; she knew how important it was to him to finally defeat the detective, to beat him at his own game, but she would never have been able to live with herself if she let him kill himself to do it. "Sorry. I can live with not seeing you for years, but I can't live with you dying."

"So, you see why I never informed you about that part of the plan," he concluded, acting as if he had known she would give such a response all along. It was relieving to know that she hadn't changed her mind about him; his favorite toy was still right where he wanted her. Right where she belonged.

"Yeah. You're an idiot." She spoke confidently, smiling slightly at him.

A smirk played on Beyond's lips, and he leaned back against the back of his seat on the couch. "Of course. I had expected nothing less than an insult from you."

"I'm pretty predictable in that aspect," she commented playfully, smile widening into a knowing grin.

His gaze was unflinching as he made his next inquiry, bringing it up as nonchalantly as she had brought up his murders. "I've been reliably informed that you killed someone. Might you elaborate on the hearsay?"

She blinked, sighing again. "Where exactly did you hear that? You've been on room restriction for days, so it's not like anyone told you."

"I might've taken a quick look at the nurses' files."

"Of course you did." J pulled one of her legs up so that her knee was under her chin, and she turned away and leaned on it. "There isn't much to say about it. Do you remember X, my alter; the homicidal, psychotic one? He took over, and he killed a guy. It was nothing elaborate like yours. Simply a lapse of control."

"Is that so?" he hummed, watching her closely. She always made it so difficult for him to determine how she was feeling, and what she was thinking. That was why she interested him; that was what made her his absolute _favorite. _"Do you have them under control now?"

J was silent, still not looking at him. If she was being honest, she wasn't sure how to answer that. Deciding on a not-too-concrete reply, she finally spoke. "Mostly."

Just as she was about to bring up another question, the sound of the buzzing that accompanied the opening of the main doors captured both of the orphans' attention. Sitting up, J turned to face them, and watched Beyond do the same. Seconds later, the heavy metal doors swung open, and a patient J knew fairly well who went by the name Masaru walked inside, accompanied by his older brother. After a quick word with the nurses, his brother left, and Masaru started to walk over to his room. Before he was gone, the red-haired young woman offered a smile and sent a wave in his direction, both of which he returned seconds later. She felt a pan of jealousy towards the guy; he had been able to leave on a day pass, and he had only been here for six months. She had been here for almost two years, and hadn't left at all, with the exception of group walks once a week. With a sigh, she dismissed the feeling and turned back to face Beyond, who she now noticed was looking at her.

Now that he had her attention once more, he spoke, breaking the silence that had covered them like a blanket. "Considering the fact that I was not supposed to be moved for a substantially longer amount of time, and that you're also in this particular unit, I gather that this wasn't a coincidence."

J nodded, looking away as she considered the possibilities. "I agree. I just don't see why or how you would have been moved here. The only one I can think of who would and could is L, but he's dead." After several seconds of silence after her reply, the red-head wondered why she was not getting a response, so she turned to face the red-eyed man. What her glance revealed was that his gaze was focused sternly on the television, clouded with an emotion that she couldn't recognize. Quickly, she swung her head around to face the TV, and her eyes met it just in time to see a reporter talking about a series of unconnected heart attacks. She grew silent, and her lips formed a straight line as she thought about what this could mean. As if reading her mind, the reporter brought up the idea of there being a new Kira. The most troublesome aspect of this concept was that this time, those that were being killed were not criminals. They were regular people, both innocent and guilty alike. Which meant that absolutely anybody could be a target.

"You guys look intense," a nurse commented, walking over and promptly pressing the 'off' button on the television. "Sorry to interrupt you, but dinner's here, so I'm going to have to turn this off. You guys can watch it again afterwards." Returning to her nurse's station, she didn't hear J mutter about her _perfect _timing or see the glare that Beyond sent her.

Wordlessly, the two both stood up, retrieving their trays from the stack on the dinner cart. As they were two of the first to do so, they were awarded first pick of the seats at the tables. Deciding on the ones nearest to the couches and therefore the TV (just in case), they set down their trays and sat in their corresponding positions on the chairs in front of it.

They ate dinner in comfortable silence, not feeling the need to speak further as of yet. Soon after, they returned their trays to the dinner cart, and were about to return to their previous spots when the familiar buzz sounded again, and Eri came bounding through the doors, a large machine and some microphones in hand.

"I'M BACK, MY BITCHES. AND I BROUGHT KARAOKE." As soon as the nurses stopped giggling long enough to chastise her for swearing, the energetic girl simply grinned at them as if daring them to stop her, and went over to the TV to set up the karaoke machine. She set it down on the floor in front of it, before standing and turning to face J and Beyond.

"J, I expect you'll be singing with me," she stated forcefully, making it clear that she would simply not accept 'no' as an answer. Before turning away, her gaze fell on B, and she tilted her head to the side. "Who're y—OH! You're that guy! _That _guy!" She nodded to herself, seemingly proud to have remembered him from yesterday when she had seen him before. "I'm Eri," she introduced, before leaning in and examining his eyes. "Hey, are you a vampire?"

Beyond simply stared, a smirk on his lips as he looked down at her. Most people weren't blunt enough to ask such a question, but from what he had observed of her personality, he hadn't expected anything less. "Yes. I am a vampire." Of course, he wanted nothing more than to see if she would believe him.

And she did. She immediately jumped up with excitement, hands clasping together as she brought them up below her chin. "That's so cool! I've always wanted to meet a vampire. You should sing with us, too." And with that, she turned, finishing her task of setting up the machine. B looked to J, somewhat incredulous that her first friend since him was _this _girl.

"Is she… always like this?" he asked, eyes flickering back over to the young woman who was now humming and dancing along as she attached the cords to the TV.

"Yes," J answered with a grin, nodding definitively. "Always." She gestured for the raven-haired man to follow her, as she sat back down in her previous spot on the couch and waited for several minutes for Eri to figure out how to get it to work. Soon enough, it was up and running, and Eri was dramatically dancing around and singing to Sweet Caroline, even convincing one of the nurses to dance with her. It brought a grin to J's lips, and although Beyond was silent and expressionless, even he had to admit that the display was entertaining.

For several hours, the three of them took turns or all at once sang various songs, and none too quietly, either. It resulted in the nurses attempting many times to quiet them down, but even they got too tired of persisting and instead relaxed and let them have their fun. After all, it was a weekend, and almost no patients were there. At first, no one but Eri had been all that comfortable with the microphone; B refused to sing for the first half hour, and J only did so quietly. As time passed, however, everyone got more into it, and the night was filled with bad singing and extravagant, terrible dancing.

Soon enough, it came time for the nurses to announce that it was nearing bedtime. Eri gathered her scattered belongings and returned to their room, while J grabbed her towel and bathmat for the shower that she intended to have after bedtime. As she set them in her room and returned outside to make some tea, the red-head noticed Beyond taking another handful of jam packages, and she her lips curved upwards into a smile. Once her drink was finished, she was about to turn in for the night when a voice surprised her, almost causing her to spill her tea.

"Thank you." When J turned, she saw that the voice belonged to Beyond, who was holding out her iPod to her. She nodded and took it in her free hand.

"No problem. Goodnight, B." Turning to return into her room, she sent him a quick smile.

"Goodnight, J." He nodded at her, before leaving with his jam to go to his own space.

Flopping down on her bed, a genuinely content smile crept onto her lips. What had started out as the tedious beginning of an uneventful weekend had ended up being just what she had needed. One thing that kept coming back to her mind, however, was what she had seen on the news. Was there really a new Kira? J had been working on small cases that Watari (now Roger, after Watari's death) was sending her, but she hadn't yet worked on anything like this. Desperately, she wished that she could. She couldn't stand by and watch this happen again; she couldn't let people be sacrificed like they were before. And considering the fact that the previous Kira had killed even L, she knew that the successor who had taken over his place would need as much help as he or she could get. J wanted to offer that help, but she didn't know how she could. Perhaps, she decided, she would get in contact with Roger tomorrow.

Sighing, she sat up and untangled the mess of earphones that was attached to her iPod. Once she was satisfied, she plugged them into her ears and listened to the song that Beyond had played last, leaving it at the point he'd left it at.

_"Out of tune, this tale of terror. The solemn tolling of the funeral bells. I want to know what's going on inside that pretty little head of yours, where everyday's a Bone Palace Ballet."_

She smiled.

* * *

**Extra – Late Nights With J and Eri: Ha.**

"J." Eri's voice whispered, breaking the peaceful silence the unit very rarely experienced, except on weekends.

The redhead groaned, rolling over to face her. "What. It is the middle of the night, Eri."

"What if instead of laughing normally, people just said really loudly in a monotone voice; HA. HA. HA."

J blinked, considering the proposition. "…"

"HA. HA. HA."

"Eri. The nurses will come in."

"HA. HA. HA."

"…Or like this: OHOHOHOHOHOHO," J yodeled, voice high pitched.

"HEEEEE HEEEEEE." In J's opinion, Eri's voice sounded kind of like what you'd imagine the creepy children from horror movies to sound like.

"Honhonhon! Baguettes, Eiffel Tower! Oui oui oui, mon amie! SACRE BLEU!" J exclaimed in a heavy French accent, waving her arms around. She was getting into it now, and Eri was grinning.

Just as Eri opened her mouth to call out her next laugh, the nurse opened the door, looking in on the two of them with a blank expression.

"What are you guys even doing? Go to bed."


End file.
